With this year’s election between Hill Dog and The Orange Man just around the corner, there are inevitably going to be BIG changes coming. Certain privileges, rights, and liberties will most likely be thrown out the door no matter which person is elected President of the United States of America.
1) Hit Up A Night Club (Preferably of the Gay Variety) and Dance the Night Away
According to Donald Trump, events like the Orlando Shooting will become common place if Hilary is elected President. So you better get all your grooves out now or we’ll be one big, non-dancing country!
2) Gamble Away All Your Money (Or Put It All Under Your Mattress)
It will be of no use anyway when our economy goes to shit. According to many different sources, nNo matter who wins the election this Fall, our entire economy will collapse and we’ll hit the Greatest of Great Depression – and we’re not just talking pop a Zoloft and it’ll get better-type depression. “Clinton’s detractors warn that she’ll cave-in to the same bankers who hosted her lucrative speeches before their members.” Conversely, when it comes to Donald’s take on the economy, he says that we’re in a bubble and that if it’s going to pop, he’d rather it pop already because in his own words, “[he doesn’t] want to inherit all this stuff.
3) Praise Allah
It doesn’t matter if you’re not Muslim. Hell, it doesn’t even matter if you’re an atheist. It’s about religious, political and personal freedom. Do it just ’cause.’ Because if The Donald is elected, all Mosques will be destroyed and if Hilary is elected, you’ll already be prepared for forced conversion to Islam due to her foreign policy that incorporates bowing down to other countries in order to appease their every need.
4) Have An Abortion
Right now, in liberal America – and specifically hippy-dippy, free-flowing, progressive Southern California – it’s already difficult to have an abortion. And that’s even BEFORE you factor in religious values, personal beliefs, financial responsibility and emotions. You know Trumpman doesn’t know a thing or two about women, so his stance on the matter being not so favorable shouldn’t be a surprise at all. But even “far left” Hilary chose an anti-abortion running mate, so yeah…
5) Travel To Europe – Or Hell, Travel ANYwhere
Whether Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump take up the Oval Office, you can be certain that the United States of America will immediately sky-rocket to the top of the Most Hated Nations list. We’re already the laughing stock of the world with our current election season. North Korea, cheers to you!
So, it’s a game of the lesser of evils, but why not have a little fun checking off these bucket list items while watching the world burn with a nice cold one in your hand. But what do I know? All I know is that at the end of the day, I can drink away all my problems, except for my drinking problem.™